Update, Installment #2

Continued:

May 7, 2010

Today, our lives are changed again, this time by an email. At 7pm I received an email from WACAP telling us that we have been assigned a court date! Now, usually this takes 4-6 weeks to have a court date scheduled, so you can imagine our surprise. Four days after our referral, court date. On June 2, 2010, our case would be heard in front of an Ethiopian judge. We signed over power of attorney to the head of WACAP in Ethiopia. He will testify on our behalf that yes we do indeed want to adopt this child. That we know it's forever, and that we can support him in all ways. The birth family also is required to attend, although I'm not exactly sure on what they have to say, I'm assuming its similar.. its forever, and well, "are you sure".

It is common for court cases to be delayed, postponed, or denied for various reasons. Now with our agency, the only reason they have not passed court on the first time is because a birth family couldn't be there for whatever reason. So we have all the confidence in the world that our case will proceed smoothly. Now, to wait a month!


......to be continued......

An update is sorely needed!

On the urging of a friend of mine (hi WG!) I need to post an update of our journey! Big news. BIG!

May 3, 2010 The first day of the rest of our lives

About 11am I get a phone call with *the* area code. The Seattle-where our-agency-is area code. My heart started beating faster as I answered the phone. Our case worker said "Hi this is R from WACAP, how are you today?" Um, well trying not to pass out thank you, how are you? She then asks if husband is home because she has some information about a sweet baby boy that she wants to share with us. (I'm tearing up writing this, it was so surreal.) He wasn't home but I told her was could conference call, so we would call her back. I called husband and when he answered his phone I said "R has a baby! He said "what?" I said "R from WACAP has a baby.. for us!" I told him we had to both call her back and that she would give us the details. So we did, and she did. I was trying so hard to take everything in and process what she was saying. There was so much to say! A sweet baby boy was waiting in an orphanage in Awassa (south of Addis Ababa) and lots of other details.

Finally when we were done hearing all about this little soul, R said "I don't want you to feel any pressure to take this referral until you feel completely comfortable that your family is the best choice for him but... if you think you know today then we can get your case started and you will make it under the old law that would only require one trip to Ethiopia". The previous Friday I had resolved myself to the fact that since we hadn't received a referral that week that we would be one of the first families to go through the two-trip process, so this was a total shock. Remember this? (Why am I surprised *again*?)

The rest of the day is a flurry of telephone calls begging our pediatricians as well as other trusted physicians to review the medical files (right now!), and back and forth to WACAP. These phone calls led us to believe that this indeed will be our child. At 6:30 (we are EST, WACAP is still open for hours) we called our case worker to ask a few final questions and then to tell her that we were honored and overjoyed to accept the referral for this precious baby.

...... to be continued ......

Six Months

Six months! This last month has been by far the hardest month of waiting. We did find out a few weeks ago that we are #5 on the waitlist. So that is good news, and enough to hold us over until the next update :)

To keep busy, because three kids isn't keeping us busy enough, we are working on researching vaccinations we will need when we travel. I think a haz mat suit and a strict diet of only bottled water is the only guaranteed way of not getting sick while travelling to Ethiopia. Everything else carries its own risk it seems.

A lesson I have to keep learning

One of my favorite quotes is:

"If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plan"

Again and again I have to learn this lesson. Just about the time I feel like I have things under control, God throws something at me I hadn't expected. So in relation to our adoption, the reason I am learning this lesson is due to changes happening in the Ethiopian court system. As it stands now, it looks like we will be required to testify in court (in person) that we want to parent the child we have been referred to. (Theoretical child at this point, no referral yet) What this means is that we would have to travel to Addis twice.. once to attend the court hearing, and once to bring him home... with about 4-6 weeks in between trips.

I'm really struggling with this because once we pass the court date, this child is legally ours. Ours. They want me to leave my child behind for strangers to care for, for weeks. One of the many many reasons we chose Ethiopia was that we would only have to travel once, meet him and bring him home. Don't give me wrong, rationally, I understand why they made this change, and it really is for the good of all international adoption. It just wasn't what I planned for.

Quote

"God will not lead you to it unless He means to lead you THROUGH it." Amen.

4 months

As of Saturday, we have been on the waiting list for four months. We would love to see a referral in April or May, but have been told it could be as long as August. A friend asked me recently if she should pray for things to move along quickly, and I told her just pray for the time to be right. God's timing is perfect and only He knows which child is meant for our family, and when he is ready to come home. Being patient is easier said than done, so I would love extra prayers for patience. And for our sweet little one who is at this moment in a family making some very tough decisions. Pray that they find peace and know God is with them.

Less than 10

families are ahead of us on the waitlist! I was trying to hold off emailing our caseworker until we had offically hit 4 months waiting, but I was weak :) Anyway, she said she had actually looked this morning to find out where we were, and we have moved up a handful of places! From 12-15th to "less than 10" in just over a month.

A part of us is going to Ethiopia today.

It will take about a week for our dossier to reach Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. When it gets there, it will be translated into Amharic. Then, as our case worker said "it will sit and wait for you to be matched with a child."

We are "Paper" pregnant!

:) This will definitely go in the memory/life book.

Also, yesterday WACAP let us know that our dossier is back to Washington from D.C. Next Stop Addis Ababa!

Dossier on its way to DC

Our case worker at WACAP said she sent out our dossier to DC yesterday (Jan 13th).

Wait List Update

was the title of the email I just received! Our agency has been developing relationships with a few new orphanages in the last several months. In January, 15 families received referrals for their sweet children! Our case worker emailed us to say that we have moved up on the wait list, and there are 12-15 families ahead of us now on the wait list. She was careful to say it still may be several more months until its our turn, so we don't get our hopes up.. but it is still great progress.

She also said our dossier will be heading off to D.C. next week, for processing with the Secretary of State and then the Ethiopian Embassy. So, Hillary, be watching, there are some important papers heading your way!

Merry Christmas!

Unless things go much longer than expected, we should have our baby home by Christmas next year. We are very much enjoying this one as a family of five! Merry Christmas!

Dossier done!

I mailed off the entire dossier to WACAP today! The ups store guy asked me how much it was worth, how much to insure it for. $200, 4 months of work, a new addition to our family: its priceless. Now begins the real waiting game... up until now, I've had things to do, now there really is nothing left until we get "The Call".

Two more documents

Two more documents are waiting at the NC SOS for me to pick up Monday morning. Then.. the dossier paperwork will be done! By the way, I am determined to get a bit of humanity back from the lady I have visited three times at the Secy of State's office. She ahs barely even looked at me, and only speaks the cursory amount of words to get through our transactions. Despite me being as gracious as possible, while not using up more of her time than is neccesary. I don't think she knows that what she is doing for me a a step in bringing home our son.

I finally got back the medical certificate from my doctors office today, it took them nearly 2 weeks to return. But, I have it now. Tomorrow, I am taking a giant stack of papers to the NC Secretary of State to have all the notary signatures authenticated. I decided to make the drive down there and hand deliver/pick up the paperwork to save some $$. Plus, I don't have to worry it is lost in the mail somewhere.

Quote

“Family need not be defined merely as those with whom they
share blood but for those for whom they would give their blood.”
--from Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens

Sibling Connection?

I was sitting at the table with my three year old while she was eating lunch on Monday. She stopped, looked at me and said "Mama there is a baby crying. I think it's our baby brother. We need to go get him!"

Hmmmm... so I will record this and maybe November 9th is a significant day for our son. Or, maybe our three year old has an active imagination. Either way, this will be fun for both these kids to read some day.

An important paper came today!

We received the form from USCIS today saying that our fingerprints have been approved. This is big big news because as of today, we are officially on the waiting list for a referral!!

Fingerprinted

C and I had a very productive morning! Our first stop took us to the Sheriff's dept to get our criminal record checks. You'll all be surprised to hear that they are all clear :) :) The next stop was to the other side of the Triangle to the USCIS office for fingerprinting. Apparently the security there is tighter than the airport. I had to throw away the snacks I brought to entertain the littlest girl. Plus the guy dug into my purse.. did you know I had four sets of random keys in there? Neither did I! But, after the somewhat embarrassing trip through security, the rest was fine. We waited for a few minutes then had our turn with the fingerprinting computer. Its all electronic, and non-messy. Plus the young woman taking care of us was very sweet and wanted to talk about the kids (present and future) the whole time.

Two more things to mark off the to-do list!

Accepted!

I received an email from WACAP today that we have been accepted into the Ethiopia program!